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ASBURY PARK, N.J. — Statistics show a majority of people who make it to their 90s either live alone or in assisted living, yet Miriam Barbara Matthews, 93, and Francis Woodrow “Woodie” Matthews, 96, still live — happily— together in their cozy home in Brick.
Their marriage is something of a rarity, since nearly half of all marriages end in divorce, and not many successful couples can boast 75 years together. But these spouses don’t see their accomplishment as anything remarkable.
“We took our marriage vows very seriously ... for better and worse,” Barbara said. The beaming smile on her young face the day of her wedding was the same smile displayed on her timeworn face the day of their 75th anniversary.
Woodie’s love for his wife was evident every time he spoke of her.
He gave a mischievous chuckle when explaining how they met in a small country school in Southard where he sat behind Barbara and would wiggle her desk until the teacher “hollered” at her. But even with the bumpy start, “we just grew to like each other,” Barbara said.
The two became so close over the next several years that Woodie didn’t officially propose because they “always knew (they) were going to be married.”
While the world was at war, their traditional Methodist wedding took place in a Manasquan church on July 7, 1940, when Woodie was 21 and Barbara was 18. Within a few years, they were living in a house on a spacious 3-acre plot of land in Lakewood where their three children were raised.
It was also in that home that they continued to defy the odds: The National Lightning Safety Institute calculates that houses have a 1 in 200 chance of being struck by lightning each year, yet their home was hit — twice.
They downsized five years ago when they moved to Brick.
Able to walk around their home and proudly show photos of their children, 10 grandchildren and 14 great-grandchildren, their active lifestyle has kept these nonagenarians healthy and relatively mobile for their age. Woodie even takes an annual dive into the family pool every summer and continues to garden while Barbara pickles the vegetables he grows.
Early on in their marriage, Woodie faced a serious illness.
“I almost lost him,” Barbara said quietly, as she explained Woodie had to have thyroid surgery. “We came through this, through the Lord helping us.”
The illness may have saved Woodie’s life since it prevented him from enlisting in World War II — a conflict that killed many of their friends. “It was during the wartime that we felt the need to work together,” Barbara said, and that same teamwork helped them through every other stage of their lives.
When the couple had their children, Wayne, Beverly and Lillian (Arlene), it was Barbara who was in charge of raising them while Woodie worked as a self-employed plumber.
"Dad always backed my mom's decisions so we couldn't play one (parent) against the other — although we certainly tried,” Arlene said.
The two also stuck together through a financial crisis when Woodie’s employer died, and they found a way to provide income for the family by establishing Woodie’s heating and plumbing business.
Arlene fondly recalled seeing her parents at the dinner table, figuring out the budget.
“In both good and bad times, they just always worked together,” Arlene said.
Over the years, the Matthews family enjoyed simple pleasures such as participating in church events and going out for Friday night ice cream.
Barbara said she and Woodie have made compromises in their marriage without even realizing it.
But it’s not as if the two have never argued.
“I get mad at him, but that’s alright ... and he hollers at me too,” Barbara said, chuckling.
“Everybody has a little argument, you know?” Woodie said. “But we don’t think about getting a divorce.”
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